"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
- Shakepeare, Romeo & Juliet
With more than a little hope, I am optimistically closing out this blog. It's purpose was to document my cancer fight, to provide honesty and information to those who have to fight this disease in the future . . . and to keep my support network in the loop on my progress.
In closing this blog, I am taking the leap of faith that cancer is behind me. It's not a certainty, but by closing this blog, I am making a statement that I believe I'm cured and ready to get back to living.
There have been a number of other cancer patients who contacted me and found this blog helpful. This brings a tear to my eye, well that and thinking about those who will find this blog in the future. To those, you are not alone and you can win your fight! God loves you, regardless of how you feel about Him. Embrace life, even if it's upside down for a while. I know what you're going through and what you will go through, and my heart goes out to you. If you stay positive and hopeful, you always have a chance. Surround yourself with loved ones and remember your job is "to just get through it". If you have questions or need to talk, please contact me.
To those new folks I've come to know, please stay in touch. I am grateful for your posts, your interest, and your positive support.
To reach me via email, my handle is savagecole57. I'm at Yahoo.com. So my handle@yahoo.com.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Spring Has Sprung (a leak)
"With the rich and mighty, always a little patience."
- Spanish proverb
The quote above has almost nothing to do with me. I'm certainly not rich and mighty would be a stretch. The patience bit, ok. But the quote is a line from the play that I just directed The Philadelphia Story.
Throughout rehearsal, there were many times I could not speak. Beeds and then Josh spoke for me. They read my directorial notes to the cast from Meaks' laptop that I borrowed. The cast was patient while I coughed and went mute in the middle of feedback. When I needed to leave rehearsal because I was exhausted, they understood and worked on without me.
The show was pretty good at the end of the day, and definitely a helpful and rehabilative step in my recovery.
Work has gone well, although I've moved temporarily to a part-time schedule. My management and Human Resources team have been very supportive and understanding. They are giving me just the right amount of work to keep me engaged and bring me up to speed without exhausting and burning me out. It's so good to get into the office and feel productive again, and the human contact with friendly faces is gold.
My car is on the road and I've put a few hundred miles on it already. Sure it turns head and puts smiles (and looks of fear) on other people's faces, but that is nothing compared to what it does for me. The car's deep rumbling engine and powerful responsiveness is really bringing me back from cancer mentality. I can't help but forget the troubles of my cancer fight when I'm behind the wheel of that mystical machine and the terrifying pleasure that driving it brings works wonders for me.
My 38th birthday was Friday, and Kristina organized a nice party for me. Friends, members of my cast, and my family got together for beer and appetizers. I had my first few sips of beer in about 8 months. Didn't taste great, but I've always been more of a whiskey man anyway. That . . . I'm afraid . . . is something I will have to look forward to.
All of my happiness and optimism is tempered by concern for others still very much in their fights. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but others I know are having rough times. The beautiful Lorelei in Canada has learned that her cancer has spread to multiple lymph nodes in her neck and under her arms. Another hero I know recently passed in his struggle, and my mom's friend's son is moving to a cell-replacement trial for his multiple-met cancer. I smile and live for these folks, and pray and think good thoughts for them. I know from my fight how rough things can get, and how important it is to take what pleasure you can from life despite pain and fear. That's not just true of cancer patients, you know.
- Spanish proverb
The quote above has almost nothing to do with me. I'm certainly not rich and mighty would be a stretch. The patience bit, ok. But the quote is a line from the play that I just directed The Philadelphia Story.
Throughout rehearsal, there were many times I could not speak. Beeds and then Josh spoke for me. They read my directorial notes to the cast from Meaks' laptop that I borrowed. The cast was patient while I coughed and went mute in the middle of feedback. When I needed to leave rehearsal because I was exhausted, they understood and worked on without me.
The show was pretty good at the end of the day, and definitely a helpful and rehabilative step in my recovery.
Work has gone well, although I've moved temporarily to a part-time schedule. My management and Human Resources team have been very supportive and understanding. They are giving me just the right amount of work to keep me engaged and bring me up to speed without exhausting and burning me out. It's so good to get into the office and feel productive again, and the human contact with friendly faces is gold.
My car is on the road and I've put a few hundred miles on it already. Sure it turns head and puts smiles (and looks of fear) on other people's faces, but that is nothing compared to what it does for me. The car's deep rumbling engine and powerful responsiveness is really bringing me back from cancer mentality. I can't help but forget the troubles of my cancer fight when I'm behind the wheel of that mystical machine and the terrifying pleasure that driving it brings works wonders for me.
My 38th birthday was Friday, and Kristina organized a nice party for me. Friends, members of my cast, and my family got together for beer and appetizers. I had my first few sips of beer in about 8 months. Didn't taste great, but I've always been more of a whiskey man anyway. That . . . I'm afraid . . . is something I will have to look forward to.
All of my happiness and optimism is tempered by concern for others still very much in their fights. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but others I know are having rough times. The beautiful Lorelei in Canada has learned that her cancer has spread to multiple lymph nodes in her neck and under her arms. Another hero I know recently passed in his struggle, and my mom's friend's son is moving to a cell-replacement trial for his multiple-met cancer. I smile and live for these folks, and pray and think good thoughts for them. I know from my fight how rough things can get, and how important it is to take what pleasure you can from life despite pain and fear. That's not just true of cancer patients, you know.
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