"His sickness increases from the remedies applied to cure it."
- Virgil, Roman poet
Forgive me for not posting the last few days, but I've had a pretty rough go since my last post. Plenty of nausea and vomiting, my throat and mouth becoming increasingly sore, and my ability to eat all but gone. Every time I toughed it out to force down a bowl of soup or shake, I would get sick and lose the precious calories and nutrients I need. Even drinking water was difficult and I became pretty dehydrated. A little of the hair on the back of my head also started falling out. All of these things are expected, but none are pleasant to go through.
Yesterday, I started using my feeding tube. It makes it a lot easier to get water and food in . . . but I still need to drink at least a shake or two a day to keep my swallowing mechanism operational. With the radiation, you can actually lose your ability to swallow if you don't use it. So, I will be sure to drink at least one shake a day to keep this working.
I'm actually glad to use the tube right now, because I've had it hanging out of me since the end of August and it's been nothing but an inconvenience. At least now, it's serving a very useful purpose.
This week has been a struggle, and it's left my body pretty beat up. I just know that the cancer is hating the treatments at least as much as I am. Whereas, I've lost 10% of my body weight, the nodes on the side of my neck are probably 1/4 or 1/3 of the size that they were before. My throat is so ripped up that I can't imagine anything could live there, so that nasopharyngeal cancer picked the wrong place to squat.
Now I realize why having a positive attitude is critical. You need it when you feel pain and severe discomfort. To fight to get your calories, even though it hurts to eat/drink and you've already thrown up your last two meals. You need to keep fighting through it.
The love of my support team helps me get through it, and so did a cute little message that a kid put up on a dry erase board easel at the hospital. It said, "Keep trying. God loves you." It was simple, cute and very timely.
In September 2007, David Cole was diagnosed with Stage IVb nasopharyngeal cancer. This blog describes the fight he and his friends and loved ones share. With God's blessing, this blog will chart Dave's brave recovery and the complete eradication of cancer from his body. As well as the medical, this blog will describe the emotional and lifestyle components of the fight.
To a brave man, good and bad luck are like his left and right hand. He uses both.
- Catherine of Siena
- Catherine of Siena
Bernini's David
A warrior braces himself for battle with Goliath
13 comments:
My gosh, how did Virgil know?
I'm a stranger (stranger than you know) in the group here, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and speak for the class -- there is never a need to apologize for not posting. Everyone visiting here gets that you've got another thing or two going on in your life.
My heart aches for the pain and dis-ease that you're going through. And my heart is inspired and lifted, at your continuing to look for the positives: "now the feeding tube has a purpose," "the cancer is being beaten up as much as I am," those kind of things. Sometimes finding the positive will require an archaeological expedition, but you so clearly have what it takes.
Prayers continue.
From Nancy
Hi Dave
Don't ever apologize for not posting. Everyone knows there will be good days and bad days for you.
I am so sorry that you are having a rough time right now. You amaze me that you can stay so positive and strong. What an inspritation you are!!Always know that people are thinking about you and praying for you every minute of every day.
I know that you will beat this!!
Hang in there! Better days ARE on the way!!
Love, Nancy
Posting is for you, not us. We check in to see how YOU are doing.
We are all fighting for you, cancer be damned.
Stay strong Dave! Thinking of you.
David, I'm home but not a minute goes by that your not on my mind.
Love you Dad
PS don't let Mom drive that car, she needs to keep her license.
Hi Dave
Wayne from the shore checking in. Keep those fluids going in. We are cheering for you and God is with you.
Dad is right............... always be with your mom when she takes the car, the thrill will be worth it ;)
We are all with you
Unlce Wayne, Aunt Betty, Kelley, Nikki, Kyle, Cats, Dogs, Etc (well youo get it)
My tiny little ailment is nothing compared to yours but I was wondering if your positive attitude put people off? I am trying my darnedest to be positive and I get looks and talked to. It is if I am expected to be a whiny teat, strangest thing I ever come up against. God bless you and remember you are in my prayers.
Gale, I think people who only know about how I'm doing see the bright and positive side of me on my blog. In real life, people nearby see and hear my anguish and frustration of dealing with this disease and the treatments. I'm no angel, hero, or martyr. I'm very imperfectly human, and I get grumpy, whiney, and beaten down on a daily basis.
The key is not to let the bad times win out, and to bounce back. I'm fighting for my life, so when bad things happen . . . I let the frustration out, and then strap back in for more healing/punishment. There are a lot of people I love, and there is no way that I'm going to quit on them.
I still like your own words from your first post, at the end.
'...feel what you need to feel, surround your self with friends and loved ones'
Few things other than that and some time are going to help through this difficult part of your treatment. But they are powerful medicine!
Thinking of you and your family each day all the way here in Checkendon.
Dave, keep fighting the fight we are with you and praying for you every day.
Dave,
You are a fighter, and He's got your back!
Hi Dave
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you (As always).
I know things are rough for you right now but BETTER DAYS ARE COMING!!!!!
You have so many people that love you and are praying for you.
You're going to beat this thing.
Can't wait to see you in that Cobra!!
Love, Nancy
David,
You are so strong and have your family supporting and praying for you. I would love to see that car of yours and go for a ride. Let me know when you're up for visitors.
Love you,
Uncle Billy
Post a Comment